The Past

First of all, I have no idea who am I talking about. This was too long ago that I've been keeping it in my draft. I decided to publish it now because I think it was supposed to be published. I guess this was about some guy I loved and never want him to leave. Clearly I made it out, I got over it and here I am, smiling to every single person :) 

“You were the best thing that ever happened to me. No one could actually replace you or be better than you. Maybe its just me who can't get over it. I'd do something to help myself. Tried so hard, i gave up. You said everyone deserves a second chance, but it seems to be everyone else but not me. You don't give people second chance but you demand for it. This is an unfair world. I couldn't really do anything to get what i want. All i can do is just get over you or just wait. I was stupid back then, i shouldn't have taken your words as real. Non of those words you told me were real, it was all fake. You never even gave me a reason why you left. Somehow you just walk away as you like without looking back. I'm just like an idiot for you. Being there for you all the time but not even once you'll be there for me. Now i'm just sick of everything. But i never once regret about it. I was happy with you and I appreciate it. It was lucky for me to had you once. I am happy with my life now although i'd cry when the flashback hits me. I'd smile when you talk to me. I'd be happy when we meet. I'd dream of you if i'm lucky enough. I just hope for the best of you. 

Every guy that steps into my life has their own personality. Non of them have the same as yours. I always compare them with you. You are still the best among all. They talk to me, they fall for me. But the problem is i don't. I want to remain friends with them, not just friends, maybe best friends? It never happens. They came and they leave. Why are people so eager for a relationship? Don't you think friends are way better? Maybe its just me who think so. I wanted to be honest with them but i don't want to lose them so I've been hesitating if i should tell. Keeping it to myself all the time, telling no one. It makes me a faker. Faking all the emotions from people. It hurts so much hiding my emotions, and there's no one I could tell.”

:)

Thoughts

Sitting on my bed, laying my back on the pillow with the laptop on my lap. On my left side, there's a puppy. Who's so in love with me, we're in love with each other. Everything came across my mind, everyone came across, everyone from my past or present. This puppy taught me how to love, taught me what loyalty is and how to care. Most important thing is, he taught me how to take care of people's heart. I learnt so much from my past. I never realized how much I learnt to be better till I found my old friend, till we talked about our life. I was immature, I was lame. Now that I grew up, I'm never going to stop growing up to be a better person. Time to leave my ego behind. I will forgive everyone in my past, as I already forget what exactly happened. I want you all back in my life, and never giving up on any of you anymore. I will be a great person who put a smile on people. I will care for those who care for me. But don't ever judge me, because you only see what I choose to show, there is a lot that you don't know. Too bad for those who hates me, it is your choice to have an enemy. I won't interrupt your life cause you seems to be happy without me. But if you say hello to me, I will smile and return back a hello.

*Peace out*