Seeing your post and everything does hurt me alot, but most of all it pissed me off. My ego was telling me don't care bout this kinda person. Not worth my time. Just ignore and smile at it, how stupid it is. I felt like a dead person when I see everything, but I guess that's not me. I decided to stay alive and play with it. I won't be the goddamn loser. Everything that happened showed me how much lies I've believe in, well done Sir. You've got the stupidest girl ever.
Sometimes I realize how much I hate to be myself. I hate that I decide everything when I'm happy. Right now I regretted it all. People said never decide things when you're happy, that's so true. I should have listen to them. I hate that I trusted people easily. I hate that I didn't look at the true colors of someone. I hate to be excited for everything. I hate the future about being together. Especially promises, fuckin' hate it. If someone who's going to make a promise to me again, I'm gonna fuck that up.
It's the third night. I was thinking and decided. So maybe someday somehow you're gonna be like 'hey' or something, I would be like 'who the hell are you?'. Remember your 'no matter what happen i'm always with you'? Shit that, now i'm saying this, no matter what and how you please me, I will never go back to those most idiotic days that full of lies from your damn mouth. Suddenly I just realize how much difference are there between the You before getting me and the You after getting me. I really should thanks for all this, for what happened between us, because I finally know how much bullshit you've told me. This will be my last fucking night to think bout all these shits. Hopefully when i'm awake tomorrow, you are just some guy from my dream but never exist on earth. After tonight, there won't be any tears from my eyes, or any stupid feelings. I am just gonna be a normal girl that you hate. You think you're special? Yeah you are Sir, special like a weirdo. I am so happy for you to be such a pathetic boy.
Now I'm pleasing you to not interrupt my life anymore. Thank you so much, really will appreciate that. :)
